


Rumplestiltskin: Man of goo

by pairatime



Category: Smallville
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-26
Updated: 2015-08-26
Packaged: 2018-04-17 08:10:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4659162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pairatime/pseuds/pairatime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s Rumplestiltskin so gold, kid, names</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rumplestiltskin: Man of goo

**Author's Note:**

> cw_land: SEASON 3: EPISODE 19: Once Upon a Time

“Blast it! I knew my sister’s big mouth would get me in trouble someday, but really what was she thinking? Of course I can’t turn straw into gold! No one can do that.” The young maiden Lois complained and ranted as she kicked at the two piles of straw that filled one side of the tower room where she was imprisoned.

“That’s not true; it is a simple matter to change the molecular structure of straw into gold. If your human brain wasn’t so primitive that is,” A man said as he formed from a puddle of black goo before Lois.

“Who are you? What are you? And you mean you can change this into gold?” Lois queried as she indicated to the straw around her. “Then get cracking, please the king is going to kill me in the morning if it’s not.”

“And what does your life mean to me? You mean nothing to me,” The man asked.

“I know but…look buster you wouldn’t be here if you weren’t willing to make a deal so what will it take to make it gold?”” Lois demanded to know.

“What do you have to offer?”

“I don’t have anything,” Lois said as she fumbled around her pockets and her person trying to find something to trade, “Damn bad day to leave the jewelry at home. What if I promise you something, anything please? It would be really lousy to die because of this…” Lois bargained with the man.

“Your first offspring. Promise me you will turn over your first child to me and I will do as you request.”

“My kid…I’m not even planning on getting hitched any time soon,” Lois responded stunned.

“I will wait. Do we have an agreement?” the man asked watching Lois. “The sun will be rising soon.”

“What? No! Fine yes we have a deal! Just make it gold or I’m dead and I won’t be having any babies,” Lois said in desperation.

“Done.” The man said before returning to a thick black goo that flowed over the room covering everything.

“Eww gross,” Lois cried as she jumped onto a stood and kicked the goo off her heels. 

Within moments the goo began to collected at one wall leaving two piles of gold in its wake. “Remember our agreement,” the man’s voice said from the goo before it flowed through the wall leaving Lois alone with a room of gold and not straw. 

That morning Jonathon king of Kent was so pleased by the tower of gold not only did he not kill Lois of the Lane but ordered her to marry his son, Prince Clark. They were married within the month, much to Lois’s objection. They lived happy for some time, even becoming King and Queen when the old King and Queen retired, but then Lois became with child and after the right number of months gave birth to their child, Chloe of the gold hair.

The Kingdom celebrated until dawn on the day of her birth and it was during this revelry that the man of goo returned. Revealing his deal and demanding the child. Both Clark and Lois pleaded for the man to relent but he would not until at last he offered them a chance.

“Guess my name, you have one hour tomorrow just after dawn, prepare your list you will have no more time then that. After the hour I will take the child,” The man said before turning to goo and melting away.

“What will we do Clark? Well never guess his name in a single hour,” Lois asked as she turned to the King.

“We’ll collect all the names we can before tomorrow, we will project our child. I won’t let anything happen to her,” Clark promised as he took Lois’s hand and gave the order for the names to be gathered.

“I have another idea,” Lois said as she called for the head of the Queen’s guard come forward. “Oliver. You are the best archer and tracker in the kingdom, follow his trail and see what you can learn but don’t take too long we only have until tomorrow.”

“I will not fail you or his Highness,” The archer said before he was off. 

Taking his fastest horse, Impulse, Oliver searched far and wide for signs of the goo man. That night he found himself high in the mountains following the trail of strange sightings when he came apron a house carved into the mountain side. Its crystal walls reflected the faint ray’s of dusk to illumine the man of goo. He was standing before a crystal that glowed of its own light, speaking.

“Yes I will soon have the child and with its blood that can free you. No, they will never guess my name. What reason would they have to say a name such as ‘Brainiac’. No Lord Zod. You will be free.”

Oliver of the Queen’s guard realized he had the creatures name and stealthily backed away and then raced back to the castle to tell the King and Queen.

The night passed as it always does and with the sun that morning came the man of goo. The King and Queen called out name after name, going down their list of Arthur and Pete, Tess and Jason, and even Whitney but to no avail.

“Your hour is but over, make your last guess and then hand me the child,” the man of goo ordered.

“Then this is it, one last name,” Lois of the Lane said before she stepped down from her throne to stand beside the cradle of Chloe of the gold hair. “The last name is Brainiac.” She drew her hand up and pointed at the creature. “I name thee Brainiac and order you to depart.” She yelled.

“What? How did you know my name. this doesn’t compute. The odds of guessing my name were…processing, processing, processing.” The man of goo repeated over and over as he began to change back into goo and melt away.

He was never seen again, either as a man or as goo. Clark of Kent and Lois of the Lane both lived happily ever after…mostly.


End file.
